It all happened last night, as I was folding clothes. My daughter was next to me (entertaining me, thank you very much) making my chore much more pleasant. Who am I kidding; chores suck, no matter what. She suddenly stuck her belly out and said, nonchalant :
– Look Mama, I am FAT (The “F” word !!).
– Oh… (Trying to act like it’s no big deal.) Where did you get that idea ? From school ?
– Where ? (Thinking that, clearly, she probably heard it from me.)
– I don’t know.
– You know that there’s nothing wrong with being fat, right ?
And gone she was. Too many questions. End of conversation.
I grew up with self-esteem issues. I grew up trying to be thinner, and then thinner some more. It wasn’t fun, and being a little more mature now (I am currently on Maturity Level 4), I understand that I should’ve been focusing on something else. It’s too late for me to go back (dah!), but I am trying really hard to raise my daughters to be proud of who they are, inside and out. Yesterday night, I felt like I was failing at it. Then I thought “Wait a second, she didn’t mean it in a pejorative way! Maybe I haven’t failed yet!” So technically, I am still on Parenting Level 6. The tricky part is, how am I suppose to convince them that being thin is not a standard when everything around us suggests otherwise. How am I even suppose to convince myself ? See, I reacted when my daughter nonchalantly used the “F” word. I panicked, yes.
Anyway, I have been teaching my kids to be healthy. If they cannot have a second piece of chocolate cake, it’s only because I would like to avoid cavities, diabetes, inflammation, sugar crash and mental instability. As for me, I literally run away from cakes to avoid seeing the scale number go up. It’s wrong. Rationalism Level 1. I am striving to be better about it, everyday. I’ll keep you posted.